That's Not Me!
by captainofswans
Summary: Killian is introduced to yet another Land Without Magic counterpart... And he's quite repulsed. (part of the 'Reasons to Smile' verse)


_A/N: So, I may have watched a whole episode of Jake and the Neverland Pirates to write this. It's actually kind of a cute show. I will say, though, I felt a bit like Killian when I was watching it—I think I made a comment on every single thing said, hah. I couldn't help it._

_Obviously, my inspiration for this was Jake and the Neverland Pirates, though after the episode was over, I listened to the 2003 'Peter Pan' soundtrack!_

* * *

"Papa, Papa!" Liam exclaimed as he ran through the house, nearly bumping into Killian's legs.

"What, lad?" Killian chuckled, bending down and settling his hands on Liam's shoulders.

Liam had been sick earlier in the morning, so Emma wanted him to stay home from school while she went into the station. So, Killian was in charge of watching him.

Though, it was clear he was feeling much better after taking some medicine and a nap.

"Can we watch TV?" Liam asked before coughing into his elbow.

"Sure, lad. What are you wearing?" Killian chuckled, finally looking over his son's outfit.

Liam was wearing one of Henry's button-down shirts tucked into a pair of his own dark jeans. His jeans were tucked into boots he'd begged Killian for, so he could be just like his Papa. He wore a large pirate hat on his head and a bandana around his neck.

"I want to watch Jake and the Neverland Pirates!" He beamed.

"Is that the program you watch with your mother?" Killian asked.

"Yeah!" Liam nodded.

"Alright, lad, let's watch your program." Killian smiled, following his son to the couch and turning on the TV. The show was already up and ready to go, as if Emma had known-Killian decided she definitely did.

"It's the Peter Pan episode!" Liam beamed, clapping his hands together. Killian raised a brow as Pan's shadow danced across the screen. It finally showed Captain Hook, and that's when Killian grew frustrated.

"For the last time, I do not look or talk like that!" He shouted, exasperated, making Liam giggle.

"It's just a show, Papa."

"Well, it's entirely incorrect." Killian grumbled, crossing his arms over his chest.

"Peter Pan!" Liam beamed as the shadow was pestering Captain Hook into waking up.

"This is just ludicrous." Killian spoke with the roll of his eyes, "Why are they making him out to be a hero?"

"Papa, Peter Pan is a hero." Liam smiled.

"Not the monster I knew."

"Well, in this show, he's a hero." Liam grinned, leaning into his father's side.

"Alright, lad. I'll believe you." Killian smiled, "One thing I will agree with is that Pan's shadow was a tricky one. Always caused chaos."

"Yo-ho, let's go!" Liam beamed, throwing his arms in the air as the characters on screen did. This was going to be a long day, he realized.

* * *

Killian had tried keeping his mouth shut throughout the show, for Liam's sake, but when Peter's pixie dust had faded away, and he was singing his sad song, Killian couldn't keep it in any longer.

"Oh, bloody hell. You don't need your shadow that terribly." Killian scowled.

"Papa, he can't fly without his shadow!"

"That's what they want you to believe." Killian grumbled.

"Papa, look, Captain Hook is flying with the pixie dust!" Liam beamed, pointing to the screen.

"That is something I've done." Killian chuckled.

"Really?" Liam beamed.

"Aye, lad." Killian nodded, reminiscing a little, "But, you have to be careful with pixie dust. It can be just as tricky as Pan's shadow."

"Really?"

"Aye."

"Papa, did the Jolly Roger really look like that?" Liam asked as Peter Pan and Jake's friends found Hook's ship.

"Sort of. Though, her flags were black-there was no red in them."

"Oh."

"But, there were many a time that I'd fight up on the masts like that. Though, Pan rarely won." Killian smiled, stretching the truth just a little bit.

"You beat Peter Pan?" Liam beamed.

"Aye, lad! I was a hell of a captain."

"I wish I could have sailed with you."

Killian offered a soft smile, ruffling Liam's curls.

"One day, lad-we'll steal a vessel and go be pirates for a while." Killian promised.

"We won't get caught by Peter Pan, will we?"

"No, I'm afraid not. He's long gone." Killian smiled, "But, perhaps we'll play a joke on your dear grandfather."

"Mr. Gold?"

"The Croc-ah, no, lad, dear Charming." Killian chuckled, "He'd be quite surprised if we pillaged his favorite sword, or perhaps his truck."

"Papa, look, Peter Pan is leaving! He's got his shadow!"

"Ugh, of course the bloody crocodile is in the water, just where they've landed." Killian grumbled.

"Don't worry-Tick Tock doesn't eat them!" Liam smiled just as he sneezed.

"Need a tissue, lad?" Killian laughed, handing him a tissue.

"Aww, Peter Pan is leaving." Liam sighed.

"Good riddance." Killian grumbled.

"Look, Papa! Captain Hook and Smee are stuck in a palm tree!" Liam laughed, pointing to the screen. Several crocodiles suddenly surrounded them, making Killian groan.

"A man can't catch a break, can he?" Killian sighed, running a hand down his face.

"Papa?"

"Aye, lad?"

"I don't care if Peter Pan is a hero," Liam smiled up to him, "Because you're the real one."

That made Killian smile wider as he tugged his son closer and ruffled his curls once more.

"Thank you, lad. I'm glad you believe so."

Liam smiled up to his father for only a moment before grabbing his plastic sword from his belt loop and whipping it up to challenge Killian.

"Oh, you want to go there, lad?" Killian grinned, grabbing a stray light saber from the floor.

"En guard!" Liam exclaimed, jumping to his feet, onto the couch. Killian jumped up with him and the two began started clashing swords. Killian chuckled triumphantly as Liam jumped backwards, still swinging his sword at Killian.

The two only play-fought for a few moments before Emma walked through the door. She cleared her throat a few times, but neither Killian nor Liam paid her any attention until she spoke.

"Really?" She asked, putting her hands on her hips. Killian and Liam simultaneously stopped, their swords falling to the couch.

"Uh, afternoon, love." Killian smiled, rubbing the back of his neck, "How's the station?"

"Good, David's there now." Emma nodded, "Liam, I thought you were sick?"

She gave him a pointed look, making his cheeks redden.

"I feel better." He spoke with a nervous grin that looked eerily like Killian's.

"Uh-huh." Emma replied, unamused, "C'mon, kid. You're going back to bed for the rest of the afternoon."

Liam nodded and hopped off the couch after Killian ruffled his curls and stepped off the couch as well. Liam sulked down the hall to his room, Emma following behind. Killian chuckled softly and cleaned up the small mess they'd made, between the swords, fallen cushions, and tissues.

Emma came back moments later, her arms crossed over her chest.

"Hello, love." Killian smiled.

"Killian, you know he wasn't supposed to be out of bed." Emma replied as she drew closer.

"I know-he came to me and asked if he could watch his bloody show, and you know I can't say no to him." Killian spoke, offering a sincere smile.

"I know you can't-you can't say no to me, either." Emma grinned as she stood merely inches away from him.

"Aye, that is very true. Always has been." Killian spoke softly, tucking some of Emma's hair behind her ear before setting his hand on the back of her head. She leaned up as he pulled, their lips clashing as they'd always done.

"You aren't off the hook for this, you know."

"Oh, I know." Killian smiled.


End file.
